Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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