New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
