doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
