yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize