Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
