shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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