You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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