My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
