I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
