Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize