Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
