I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
