he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize