so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize