Already got asked if we're dating
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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