You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
