So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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