I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize