Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
