his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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