Barsexuality is the new black.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The Olympian is in my bed
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
