You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize