I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
