Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
