just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
