I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
