Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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