Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
