We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
