Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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