Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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