Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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