just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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