But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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