I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She's the barista slut.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
