wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
