I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
