I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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