she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
two words...techno handjob
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
