i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
