I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
