If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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