If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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