Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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