Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
