You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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