he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
