I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
