Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
