Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
