the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
