Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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