We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
there is puke in my bra ... again
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
