just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
