we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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