The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize