benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize