note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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