We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
